What is Love?

What is Love?

Michael Hoerger What is Love? Introduction Work and love, thats all there is Freud

Finding love is a key developmental event in early adulthood Psychologists and the public use the word love, so it must have some meaning Todays lecture is intended to challenge your preconceptions and help you to establish a working definition of love Monogamy Only 5% of species, those where both

parents needed for childs survival Pair-bonding: having an emotional attachment to another Oxytocin, vasopressin, dopamine release during sex; feels addicting Good feelings associated with partner (classical conditioning) Tells you Gee sex with this person feels great rather than just Geez sex feels

great Montane vole Pair-bond vs. Prairie vole No pair-bond Sternbergs Triangular Theory 1.

2. 3. Love is multifaceted, with up to 3 central components Passion: intense longing for another person Intimacy: feeling connected, enjoying ones company and support Commitment: obligations and responsibilities to one another

Pecks Criticisms of Love Falling in love (passion) love Excitement related to new, attractive person We fall in love when we are consciously or

unconsciously sexually motivated The honeymoon always ends Dependency love I need him or Id die without her What you describe is parasitism, not love Love is based on choice, not necessity Love a feeling

Love is an action, characterized by treating someone well Having strong feelings that someone is important or needed doesnt mean you love them Myth of Romantic love

Story that two people are meant to be, that it is predetermined in the stars If it doesnt end up working out, people say it wasnt true love after all (hindsight bias) Realistically, there are many suitable partners Love is An action, not a feeling

Attention A risk of rejection Independence, not dependence Commitment Self-disciplined hard work Happy Couples

Partners know each others hopes, quirks, likes, dislikes Secret Weapon: ritualized repair attempts to prevent increased negativity Shared, deep sense of meaning 5 : 1 ratio Unhappy Couples Arguments characterized by Harsh setup: negative and

accusatory 4 types of negative interactions: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling Flooding Stonewalling Failed repair attempts Bad memories Love Quotes I define love thus: The will to extend ones self for the purpose of nurturing ones own or anothers spiritual growth - M. Scott Peck Love is the subtlest force in the world - Mahatma Gandhi

By accident of fortune a man may rule the world for a time, but by virtue of love he may rule the world forever - Lao-tzu Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend - Martin Luther King Jr. Its a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous, that you realize just how much you love them - Agatha Christie One of the oldest human needs is having someone to wonder where you are when you dont come home at night

- Margaret Mead Love is a condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own - Robert Heinlein Whoso loves Believes the impossible - Elizabeth Barrett Browning Love doesnt have to feel dizzying - Michael Levine Love is something like the clouds that were in the sky before the sun came out. You cannot touch the clouds, you know; but you feel the rain and know how glad the flowers and the thirsty earth are to have it after a hot day. You cannot touch love either; but you feel the

sweetness that it pours into everything - Annie Sullivan Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh - W. H. Auden Sympathy constitutes friendship; but in love there is a sort of antipathy, or opposing passion. Each strives to be the other, and both together make up one whole - Samuel Taylor Coleridge True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.

- Erich Segal Love talked about can be easily turned aside, but love demonstrated is irresistible - W. Stanley Mooneyham Michael Hoerger To cite this lecture: Hoerger, M. (2007, March 28). What is Love? Presented at a PSY 220 lecture at Central Michigan University.

Recently Viewed Presentations

  • Chapter 13 Professional Responsibility PMP, CAPM, PgMP, PMI-SP

    Chapter 13 Professional Responsibility PMP, CAPM, PgMP, PMI-SP

    PMP, CAPM, PgMP, PMI-SP , PMI-RMP, OPM3 and PMBOK are registered marks of Project Management Institute, Inc Inov8Solutions Inc - Quality Educational Services For Professionals www.Inov8Solutions.com 13-1. Chapter 13Professional Responsibility
  • The Oz Principle - JSAHR

    The Oz Principle - JSAHR

    The transition to an action statement. The action statement . These key questions must align: How is the conflict resolved? How are characters changed? What must the listeners do next? What actions can they take to get the results they...
  • Anne Hathaway by Carol Anne Duffy Background and

    Anne Hathaway by Carol Anne Duffy Background and

    Anne Hathaway . is a sonnet spoken in the voice of Anne Hathaway. Because Duffy imagines the speaker as one distinct character, we can call this poem a dramatic monologue. Anne Hathaway . is written in the form of a...
  • Accommodations and Modifications

    Accommodations and Modifications

    At Home Have a set time and place for homework Incorporate child's learning style Create an organization system Use highlights Play games Read math problems aloud Have student verbally compose essays Have them complete a limited number of problems Contact...
  • Types of Evidence 1. Testimonial evidence; a statement

    Types of Evidence 1. Testimonial evidence; a statement

    Puckett insisted he was innocent, saying that although DNA at the crime scene happened to match his, it belonged to someone else. At Puckett's trial earlier this year, the prosecutor told the jury that the chance of such a coincidence...
  • What is theatre? - Introduction to Theatre

    What is theatre? - Introduction to Theatre

    What is theatre? Week 1. Introduction to Theatre. College of the Desert. ... a neoclassical play was the "concept of drama that originated in the writings of 15th century Italian scholars and came to dominate the stage in 17th- and...
  • Figures - Chapter 4

    Figures - Chapter 4

    Graphical models, supplemented by text annotations, are used to define the functional requirements for the system; UML use case and sequence diagrams are commonly used. Mathematical specifications These notations are based on mathematical concepts such as finite-state machines or sets.
  • 2006 2006 Pearson Pearson Education, Education, Inc. Inc.

    2006 2006 Pearson Pearson Education, Education, Inc. Inc.

    ©2006 Pearson Education, Inc. The American Nation, 12e Mark. C. Carnes and John A. Garraty