Positive Relationship Building - California

Positive Relationship Building - California

Positive Relationship Building Empowering Emotionally Disturbed Students to Make Wise Choices By Vicki Butler, Coordinator Riverside County SELPA [email protected] Acknowledgements I have borrowed heavily from Vicki Phillips book, Empowering Discipline (Personal Development Publishing, P.O. Box 203, Carmel

Valley, CA 93924 831-659-5913) Also from William Glassers Choice Theory Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman Positive classroom Discipline by Fredric H. Jones 2 Relationships Students will change only if we honor who they are now

and help them discover how they might become more of who they are now by making some CHANGES Vicki Phillips 3 Your Success. . . . As an educator is more dependent on positive, caring, trustworthy RELATIONSHIPS,

Than on any skill, idea, tip or tool. Eric Jensen 4 Behavior Problems are a Signal They alert us to: Poor quality of life Little control in life Few Choices Poor Social Skills Poor Communication Skills STRESS

5 Problems With Punishment May reinforce negative attention seeking patterns Confirms students own poor selfconcept Can reward non-compliance by increasing peer status Increases student resistance by setting up power struggles 6 More Problems

Does not address the root of the problem Does not work for students with serious behavior problems Does not teach appropriate behavior Reactive, rather than proactive, Whos in charge? so . . . 7 Understanding Behavior All behavior is a form of

communication: 1. Push-aways: Protest Escape Avoid (Remove an aversive) 8 Understanding Behavior All behavior is a form of communication: 2. Pull-ins:

Gain or seek (Get reinforcement) 9 What is the Message? Careful observation What happens prior to behavior? And after? When does behavior not occur? What does student avoid and seek?

What need is being met? WIIFM? 10 Teach Appropriate Behavior We need to teach students appropriate ways to get their needs met. Replacement Behaviors Problem Solving New Solutions

11 Strategies for Escaping Behaviors Give student more choices Make it fun Give student option to ask for a break Work together--Cooperative Learning More student input and planning More student involvement 12

Strategies for Getting Behaviors Spend individual time with the student. Let the student lead Give student choices Encourage peer tutoring Freedom--make deliveries, take a break, earn no homework, earn free activity time Student chooses peer and game 13 Strategies for Sensory Seeking

Provide headphones for musical stimulation. Provide tactile stimulation--koosh balls, textured items, soft items, water-play Provide vibrating pillows, etc. deep pressure--weighted vests or tight vests, or leg or wrist weights. Oral motor--something to chew 14 Meet the Need Everyone wants to meet his/her needs Teach appropriate

ways to meet needs Introduce replacement items or behaviors for undesirable behaviors Key into strengths 15 Look to Prevention Study the environment Look at your own behaviors and those of others: when, where, how,before,

after Determine the need-- help student meet it Structure carefully Keep the classroom positive Be creative 16 Seek an outside observe Problem with Control It is a losing battle There is no way to really control another person if they dont want to be controlled

We want students to develop selfcontrol Difficult students want to be POWERFUL and IN CHARGE, they want to be SELF-DIRECTED (Vicki Phillips) And isnt that what we want for them? 17 Lets help them to control their own Four Ds of Discipline Develop Supportive Relationships Design a Classroom which is Structured for Success Defuse (Detach, Disengage, and De-escalate) potential problems at

the lowest possible level Debrief later so students can learn from their mistakes From Vicki Phillips 18 DEVELOPING Supportive Relationships Students need support Influence them to look at their choice and evaluate them We need to help them make good choices Believe in them and in their future

They have often lost hope 19 Developing Resilient Students Resiliency literature from Bonnie Bernard tells us that being believed in and respected by just one caring, responsible adult is the key into turning an at-risk child into a child of promise We must keep a positive attitude; dont let their negativism affect us Look for student strengths, point them

out, help develop those strengths When students internalize your belief in them, your positive expectations for their progress, they become empowered to overcome the 20 problems they face Stumbling Blocks Strengths as Hyperactive

Energetic Willful Determined Shouts out Enthusiastic Stubborn Persistent Conceited/ Confident cocky Persuasive Manipulative Unstructured We can reframe a students liabilities into assets. Our Disorganized

liabilities are often just our strengths out of proportion 21 Talk to Your Neighbor What is a stumbling block that you have that might be reframed as a strength? 22 Supportive classroom

Teach students to support each other Teach them how harmful put downs are, even if they are meant to be funny Research shows it takes 5 positives to counteract each put down Help them to be aware of put downs, bagging on each other Talk to them about how they like to be treated Get them help you create a CLASSROOM CODE OF ETHICS (use the KIS method) Create a structure which will bring out the best in students

23 Classroom Code of Ethics One class came up with these four simple rules: Respect others Appreciate diversity Conduct yourself with honor Do your best work Another brainstormed three words: Respect, Belong, Work

Anyone likes to be asked their opinion! 24 DESIGN a classroom Structured for Success . . . Discuss with your neighbor what that might look like. . . 25 Structured Students need:

A predictable environment Clear boundaries Classroom assignments within their ability level and in their learning style To be given choices Expectation that they will be responsible Time to reflect on choices they make 26 Structured for Success Point and Level System Points and levels must add up to reinforcers students want or consider desirable

NEVER TAKE POINTS AWAY! Students can lose a level Students make choices to earn or not earn points Such a system allows them work toward something and to visibly see their progress 27 Need for Change We must meet the needs of these students who are not succeeding We must begin to see them as students who learn differently

We must address different learning styles 28 Children Learn Differently All Children Dont Learn in the Same Way. Some are good at music, others at pictures, math, physical activities, words, people or outdoor skills. Howard Gardner, a Harvard University professor of education calls these skills multiple intelliences Patricia Ansett

29 Engage and Involve Students Many Ed students have ADHD or are just highly anxious ED students need interactive learning Teachers must engage and involve the learners Keep it moving and interesting Keep them guessing . . . . . Whats next? Down time is deadly 30

Interactive Learning Students need to interact in order to be involved Interact with the teacher Interact with the material Interact with each other 31 Classroom Instruction That Works: Research-based Strategies for Increasing Student Achievement

by Marzano, Pickering, Pollock www.ascd.org Identifying similarities and differences Summarizing and note taking Reinforcing effort and providing recognition Nonlinguistic representations Homework and practice Cooperative Learning Setting objectives Generating and Testing Hypotheses Questions, cues, and advance

32 Brain Compatible Instruction Neuroscientists and educators agree that children learn best when: Rote individual units are learned with rhythm or song Up to 30 repetitions may be needed to move info from working to long term memory Student is actively engaged by

seeing, hearing, speaking, and DOING Eric Jensen, Brain Compatible Strategies 33 Retention of Information The brain retains information best when more than one of the five senses is used to learn. Patricia Ansett, March 2002, www.detroitfreepress.com

34 Exercise and Activity Boost Learning Increased blood flow brings more oxygen to the brain Exercise can trigger the release of good feelings (endorphins) or challenge (hormone, adrenaline) Movement creates more enthusiasm and motivation Activities learned with the body are more likely to be recalled and applied

later Eric Jensen 35 Challenge Them ED students like competition, challenges, and FUN! Use relays, games, puzzles, simulations, and role playing Use material that is meaningful in their lives Discuss an interactive activity you have used or seen used with ED students and

how it worked 36 DEFUSE Avoid Power Struggles Defuse problems at the lowest level An ounce of prevention . . . . Think a step ahead of the student; notice the signs of frustration, anger, etc. Look at the environment

Look at student needs and help students meet their needs in a proThe teachers job is NOT to CONTROL students, social way but to offer CHOICES and guidance to help them get their NEEDS met in a positive way 37 DEBRIEF Students must own the problem so they can learn from it William Glassers Reality Therapy model asks student What and

How questions He needs to see that his choices are not working for him in order to WANT to change 38 Planning Room Sometimes a neutral place where students can think and process is helpful When the student is calm the teacher/paraprofessional can talk with the student Ask questions and possibly participate

in writing a plan to do things differently Students should be able to request to go to the planning room when he/she needs time away 39 Questions?? ? What happened? Shift his/her perceptions

What were you trying to make happen? How would that have helped you? What actually happened? How do you feel about that? What do you think will happen if you keep doing that? Can you think of a different way you could accomplish what you want without the negative consequences? 40 More Great Questions . . . What is your plan now? How can I help?

Does this seem to be working for you? Is this behavior getting you what you want? A good message is, That wasnt like you. 41 Problem Solving ED students typically have difficulty with problem solving How do you help students solve problems?

Talk with your neighbor. . . 42 Consequences There must be some consequences Consequences can help students learn, if we handle them correctly It is much more effective to give consequences with empathy than with anger! Vicki Phillips The student has earned a consequence, the teacher just implements the system already in place

How can tone and intensity affect the delivery of consequences to students? 43 Social Skill Building We need to teach socially appropriate ways for students to meet their needs Problem solving techniques and Social skill training and practice Taking turns Getting attention Working in a group

Showing interest and caring Settling conflicts without fighting Using appropriate language 44 Mental Health Services When we label a student as emotionally disturbedwe need to think about therapy RCMH provides therapy under Ab2726 Work to bring the therapist to the program Need to make referrals and work with parents

Mental Health personnel can work on social skills as well as emotional growth 45 Looking Deeper Four step approach to gathering information for intervention with behavior problems Determine when behaviors present the greatest barrier to instruction Determine which behaviors are most problematic and identify alternative behaviors that are desirable

Identify teacher, classmate, or environmental variables that precede and/or follow the undesired and desired behaviors Collect data on student and teacher behavior Patterns of student behaviors and Use the SELPA Behavior Plan teacher responses will emerge From Vicki Phillips 46

Four Ds of Discipline Develop Supportive Relationships Design a Classroom which is Structured for Success Defuse (Detach, Disengage, and De-escalate) potential problems at the lowest possible level Debrief later so students can learn from their mistakes From Vicki Phillips 47 Sense of Humor Keep your sense of humor alive

Students love a good sense of humor It helps prevent burn-out and leads to a longer, more enjoyable life Keep smilingits contagious! 48 The best way to change student behavior . . . . Is to change OUR behavior

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