Building resilience in children: schools and parents working ...

Building resilience in children: schools and parents working ...

Raising Kids that Cope Building Building an an optimistic optimistic mindset mindset in in our

our children children Cay Camden Senior Social Worker (Psychology) School Counsellor Lecturer UNSW Camden Lowe Counselling Castle Hill Accredited Resilience Doughnut Trainer Mount Colah Public School 2015

Snap shots

What is Resilience? What does it look like to us? Why is it important Some ways of thinking The resilience doughnut model Stages of moral reasoning Building resilience nuts and bolts

In summary What is resilience? Resilience is the happy knack of bungy jumping through the pitfalls of life (Andrew Fuller, 1998) Resilience is the universal capacity which allows a person, group or community

to prevent, minimize or overcome the damaging effects of adversity (Edith Grotberg, 1995) Resilience is the capacity of individuals to navigate their physical and social ecologies, to provide resources, as well as their access to families and communities who can

culturally navigate for them (Michael Ungar, 2008) Resilience is NOT A genetic predisposition to thriving A personality trait What does it look like to US?

A movement away from just trying to cope with problems to. building strengths that protect and promote well-being Why is it important?

Make the most of their potential Extend themselves Fears & worries acknowledged Builds social and emotional capacities

Some ways of thinking It is thinking style that determines resilience more than genetics, more than intelligence, more than any other single factor (Seligman et al: 1995 The Penn Project) Optimistic thinking V Pessimistic

thinking Pessimistic Thinking When bad things happen When good things happen

It is permanent and unable to be changed. It is temporary, so it wont last long. It is global and everything is bad.

There is a specific reason for it, so it cant be repeated. It is because of me and everything goes wrong for me. It is because of other

factors, and nothing I do makes a difference. Copyright Lyn Worsley Optimistic Thinking When bad

things happen It is temporary, so it will get better. It is specific, so I can learn from this. It is because of other factors, so I can keep trying to make a difference.

Copyright Lyn Worsley When good things happen It is permanent and therefore I can depend on it. It is global, so it indicates everything is going well.

It is because of me, so I will continue to make a difference. Half glass FULL! THE RESILIENCE

DOUGHNUT Copyright Lyn Worsley SAMS STORY 0 The Parent Factor

10 You are really close to your parents You arent close with you parents at all They are not there at all to look after you or check up on you

You can talk to them They show you a lot of love They are a bit strict and check up on what you are doing The Skill Factor 10

0 There is nothing you are especiall y good at

You have something that you are really good at and you love doing it You work really hard at it until you get that YES! factor 0

The Family and Identity 10 Factor You are connected to your wider family You dont have any extended family around you

You dont see your extended family You are close to them and spend time with them You have a sense of identity: Who you are and where you came from

You might look like them, share a surname or come from the same country 0 The Education Factor 10 You enjoy school

You dont like being at school You dont feel like you belong to your school There is at least one teacher who really likes you and believes

in you Doesnt necessarily mean you have to be at the top of class 0 The Peer Factor 10

You dont have any friends at all You have heaps of friends People fight over you because they all want to be your friend

You might fight with your friends sometimes but you work it out 0 The Community Factor You arent involved

in any groups in the community You dont know any of your neighbours 10 Youre really involved in a group like a

sports team, Scouts or Guides, church or youth group You know lots of people in your community like your neighbours There are other adults who look out

for you in your community 0 The Money Factor 10

You are wise with your money You arent very sensible with your money You spend it as soon as you get it You dont save or work hard for things

You are good at saving and working towards things You are able to work hard at things and help out or give to others Not just expecting to get things for yourself all the time

Finding our key strengths If something is not working, do something different. If something is working, do it again!

Strength focused questions Some of the things our children need Additional nuts and bolts

Stages of Moral reasoning Ppr reasoning: Stages 1 and 2 Conventional moral reasoning:

Stages 3 and 4 Postconventional moral reasoning: Stages 5 and 6 Social & emotional competencies

Self awareness Social awareness Self management Responsible decision making Relationship skills Taught through modelling of interpersonal skills & helping our child to adjust to situations by positive self-talk

Research Self- discipline Self control Improves and increases creativity

and learning capacities To build your childs self control

Show interest Promote problem solving Offer a couple of choices Model encouragement positive reinforcement time to achieve

Confidence building The seeds of self-esteem you sow today will reap rewards tomorrow Happy Kids by Michael Grose (2010) Confidence, Character and Resilience Why is self-esteem so

important 10 ways to improve self esteem In Summary:

Communicate Positive encouragement

Do it again or Try a new way! Model behaviour Small practice steps Listen and acknowledge Try not to rescue Problem solving

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